Bouquets of tulips and other spring flowers on the back of a bike

It’s May Already!? My Goals for May

HHow are we in a new month already? Pop quiz: Is April faster than Usain Bolt?

Hint: yes.

I’ve been seeing monthly goals posts for a while elsewhere in the blogosphere, and I thought that I’d like to give it a try.

Being a student, a twentysomething, and reigning Queen of the Quarter Life Crisis (my title is Your Lowness, thanks) has left me feeling pretty uncertain and directionless for a little over a year now. Goals would be very much appreciated.

So here are my goals for this month. I’ll try not to get carried away but that comes with a 0% guarantee.

*this blog post contains affiliate links, which means I get a small commission if you make a purchase

Faith

Goal: write a reflective prayer after I learn something new about God

Goal: ask God for direction first

I kind of struggled with what to say with this. I don’t really know if I want to frame my faith in terms of a goal right now, since I mostly just want to learn more. When I think about it, though, I have started this new thing where I take a few minutes and write a little prayer (pray-write?) about what I learned or heard when I watch a sermon, so maybe my goal will be to do that more. I find that a lot of things tend to come out when I do that, like some misconception, struggle, or insecurity I’ve been dealing with without even knowing I had it.

I would also like to consult with God more. I’m still in that mode where I tend to fire off and do things on my own (and then pray for a way out when things go left), even though the wise thing to do is ask God what He thinks before I start pulling what I think are power moves. Slow down to go fast, amirite?

Dating

Goal: go on one date.

I could write a whole post on this but I won’t. Not today, anyway. The Coles notes version of my dating life is that I don’t have one. Not since I took on way too much last semester and had to stop dating to get ish done. Now I’m in this weird place where I want to date but don’t feel like it. My life feels a lot less stressful when I’m not dating. I don’t have the extra work of trying to manage my emotions, avoiding getting played, and dealing with rejection (or having to do the rejecting). I don’t get little twinges of nervousness when my phone buzzes.

Related: The Late Bloomer Diaries: Online Dating for the First Time

But I also realize that finding someone special can add an amazing dimension to life, so this month, my goal is to put on my big girl panties and suck it up.

Buttttttt….since I find dating exhausting (shout out to all my introverts awkwardly checking their phones in the back) and I’m just getting back into the swing of things, I’m not setting any lofty dating goals. Hopefully my one date will be a quality date, but if I’m honest, the only expectation I have right now is a free coffee. #jaded

Related: Little Pink Book: The Fickleness of Online Dating Doesn’t Have to Work Against You

School & Career

Goal: Keep a regular schedule at least 4 days a week

School and work is one of the areas where I feel the most directionless at the moment so coming up with a goal is hard for me. That being said, I’m grateful to have a lot of flexibility in that I can set my own hours. I’ve been struggling with keeping a regular schedule, though. Why work during the day when I can watch Netflix and then work at  2 am? I’m pretty sure my missing logic can give Where’s Waldo a run for his money.

I feel like this is such a basic goal, but I learned terrible habits in undergrad and got away with them. I can’t really get away with these habits now, so I need to break them. It doesn’t help that being organized doesn’t come easily to me at all, but we all have to start somewhere, right?

Related: How I Manage My Time: Organization for the Naturally Disorganized

Blogging

Goal: post once a week

I’m still trying to figure out where I want to take my blog, but I do know that I want it to grow. I’ve been reading The Slight Edge and it’s being drilled over and over into me how important consistency is when it comes to being successful. And when it comes to blogging, I think consistency might be the one piece of advice I hear from bloggers over and over again when they’re doling out advice on how to grow your blog.

Goal: start a new category for money-related posts

About two and a half years ago, I went to the bank and didn’t have enough money to get something I needed for work. To add insult to injury, the teller was really handsome. How could I flirt with a man who knew exactly how little money I had? I may have been cute, but being broke wasn’t. Oops.

I also had a job where I needed to travel to another city, and I realized that if I wasn’t careful with my money, I would end up in a situation where I couldn’t afford the travel, and therefore, the job. I couldn’t allow that, and it pushed me to start being really careful with how I spent.

Related: The Broke Fashionistas Club: Dressing Well On a Budget

Since then, I’ve been a bit more ruthless (but not perfect) about how I spend and save my money. The thing that I’ve come to love about managing money is that when it’s managed well, it’s an incredibly powerful thing. It’s been magical to get hit with unexpected expenses and not freak out, and I want to learn so much more. I’m no expert, but I want to talk about money and share what I’ve been learning.

This week, I had an interesting conversation with Yaa Yaa over at Scribbles and Tostitos about the importance of talking about money. It made me think: wouldn’t it be cool if we could have helpful money conversations on a semi-regular basis? Even seemingly little things, like affording new sandals for the summer, are not so little. They impact our quality of life, and I don’t play games about that. I don’t want to be miserable!

Social

Goal: invite a friend to one event

I’m pretty introverted and have workaholic tendencies, which means that my social life can flat out pack its bags, hand me divorce papers, and sue me for alimony and I won’t notice. #callthebailiff

It’s the first week of May and I feel like I’ve had enough social interaction to last me the rest of the month, but I need to keep trying because one of my goals for the rest of my twenties is to have close friendships. I can’t maintain those if I’m never around or never make any effort, so I’ll find a day to go out with a friend. I’ll even put on some decent clothes so I can look more like a human and less like a muppet.

Related: An Introvert’s Guide to Surviving Parties

None of my goals are huge or complicated, which is exactly why I love the idea of doing monthly goals.  There’s nothing like smaller, achievable things to give me a bit of momentum to keep going. I think we get off track as well as stay on track by a matter of degrees, so it’s important for me to establish little patterns that keep me headed in the right direction.

Question: What are your May goals?

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25 comments on “It’s May Already!? My Goals for May

  1. I love these goals! Have you achieved any of them? I’m curious about any tips you have with sticking to a schedule. I have every step of my morning routine in my google calendar. I get an alert on my phone/watch and I still skip a lot of it. Like why is my cup of coffee a non-negotiable, but my morning run or time with God isn’t. I’m struggling to figure out what will work for me. Also what are you studying in school?

    • Hey Kelli! I’ve got the reflective prayer down, the new category down, and my social goal, but struggling with the rest 😅 You’ve seen my singleness post, so you know that date isn’t going to happen. 🤷🏿

      I’m in the same struggle boat in terms of a schedule, but I’ve gotten a lot better at my morning routine. I’ve found that timers are my friend. I take 1.25 hours to get ready in the morning, so I budget that out in 10-15 minute “parcels” of time. And then in each parcel I tell myself that I need to do 1 or 2 things, like brush my teeth, or do my makeup. I sound like a psycho, but I’d take forever if I didn’t do this. The timer stressed me out so much at first that I actually cried LOL. But I’m used to it now and don’t function well without it.

      In general, I like to attach tasks to other things, instead of giving everything its own time. For example, I talk to God as I get ready. Maybe that’ll help you? Or is your routine too complex? When mine was it drove me crazy.

      I’m studying higher education. Wasn’t intentional at all, but an opportunity came up & I grabbed it – putting out a blog post this week with a little more info about that if you’re curious 😉 If you have any particular questions let me know, I’d be happy to include them in the post.

      • Glad you found tactics to help you with the morning routine! Maybe I should just try not ignoring my calendar notifications lol and make my morning routine a non-negotiable. I do listen to podcasts while getting ready though.

        I’m interested in hearing about how you plan to incorporate what you’re doing/learning into life after graduation? Like what specifically you’d like to do or what ways you’d like to serve the students you might work with or a potential place of employment. And just your general experience and journey. How did you stumble upon this opportunity? Has it been a positive experience? Those kinds of things 🙂 Can’t wait to read it!

        • Listening to podcasts as you get ready is such a brilliant idea. I’ve wanted to try giving them a listen, but it just feels like one more thing to do.

          Ooh, those questions deserve a part two! I ask those same questions of myself pretty much every day. There’s so much uncertainty! I think I read in your bio that you have a master’s degree (is it a MSW?)? I’d love to hear about your experience too.

          Also – do you have a facebook page? Would love to follow it!

          • It is an MSW! I wouldn’t trade that education for the world. I shall put it on the list of many things I need to write about. It’s getting hard to keep up!

            And yes all the podcasts can feel overwhelming, especially how many I’m subscribed to. that’s why I listen while getting ready, cooking, grocery shopping, during long drives. I’m behind on many of them and just listen when I can.

            I don’t have a FB page for my blog, I’ve been thinking about it though. It’s just my personal page right now. Feel free to add me there if you want!

            • I’ve actually been thinking about doing one (being a therapist seems amazing), but I’m all schooled-out at the moment. I want homework-free evenings! And a full-time income!

              Also, I’ve put up a response to your earlier questions about my degree here: https://driftyness.wordpress.com/2018/06/12/accidental-academic-my-experience-in-grad-school/

              Thanks for the inspiration – sometimes it gets hard to come up with topics!

              • I’m definitely all schooled out! I pray I never decide to pay for a degree again lol

                I couldn’t be a therapist. All the power to you if you ever decide to go for it. I’m more into the macro side of social work…

                And I saw you published. Thanks for using my questions as inspiration! 😊 I’m going to read right now!

                • I’m right there with you! The thought of that debt makes me a little nervous if I’m being honest.

                  I have so much respect for people who deal with the larger and more systemic issues. Thank you for the work you do 🙂

                  & thanks for checking out the new post!

  2. For me, this month is for my exams… I just hope to do excellently..
    I think we share the same blog goals, as I would like to post more…
    I hope you achieve your goals

    • Exam season can be so stressful! I have to write papers instead of exams now, but I still remember studying all day, and then right outside the exam room door! May your exams go excellently, just as you hope and more!

      Can’t believe you can manage a blog, period, in law school, so you’re doing amazing in my book!

      Thanks and I hope you achieve yours too! I’ll be updating on my progress next month!

  3. Hey Sis! I love your goals for the month of May – Interested in how they all will turn out. Loved what you said about the money piece (paraphrasing) “How can I flirt with a guy when he knows how little money I got” that to me was sooooo POWERFUL!!! I really do think our management of money or lack of determines relationships with a guy we’re either dating or intending to marry. I don’t know if you watch the show on NBC called “RISE” it’s a good show but one of the girls made a statement about money last night to a guy and she said “I want to want you, not need You!” that got my mind to thinking about past relationships I was in, not mainly because I particularly wanted the guy (no pun intended, because they weren’t the one for me, I knew this, but anywho) because they were somewhat, financially secure – they always had a little something on them and here I was barely carrying crumbs, if that – so that security made me NEED them and not WANT them necessarily. I would love to hear more of your experiences with that piece, because we ladies got to get it together – Mind, Body, Soul & Wallet! =) As always, I enjoy your post! xoxo

    • Hey, Roshonda! I always get excited when you leave a comment: you’re always dropping wisdom. I actually never thought about it that way–that our financial situation can influence what kind of partner we end up thinking. I think I was aware of this semi-consciously, but I couldn’t quite articulate it in the brilliant way you did. I feel like we tend to talk about needs vs wants when we’re budgeting, but thinking about it in terms of potential relationships is such a smart thing. That point about how financial security influenced your relationship was so powerful. I think a lot of us think money, especially when it comes to relationship, is such a dirty little topic that we don’t want to talk about it with anyone, even people close to us. But I think it’s good to talk about it because smart money management is such an empowering thing for everyone, especially us women. I’ve never seen NBC RISE, but definitely curious about it now.

      • Lol! Girl, I been through too much to keep all those mistakes, hurts, habits, hangups and epic fails to myself…lol. I have to get it out, which is another reason I started blogging. But yessss, that’s the concept – how we handle our regular life will determine our relationship-dating/marriage life. If our life is messy and uncontrollable then guess what – our relationships will be too and not to say that it will be perfect because we somewhat have it together – but there will be a better way of handling things in proper order, if that makes sense. RISE is a good show, their season finale is tonight but Sisssss, let me tell ya – I won’t be seeing it because I’m determined to get in the bed at 10pm….lol. I hope you’re having a great day gurly, I look forward to your posts. ❤️

        • Blogging is basically therapy, isn’t it? Missing a season finale to go to bed early? Now THAT’S discipline! 👏👏 Hope you have a great day too!

          • Sis, you’re right – blogging is therapy but I have to keep it 100 with you…..(In my Pam from Martin voice) I ended up watching the show…..LOL. I went to bed afterwards, I wasn’t sleepy….guess I have to continue working on that “D” word….lol.

  4. Thanks for the shout out! So glad I inspired you to talking about money. I recently had a c

    • I recently had a conversation with a dear friend about money and she talked about how frugal she was. She didn’t take out any loans for a school and she had a bachelor’s degree from Harvard, master’s degree from Emory, and a doctorate degree from Johns Hopkins University! Her education was fully funded through scholarships! Yet here I am struggling with paying my student loans; I should have been talking to her. I joke with her about her frugality, but she extremely good with how she manages her money. I may feature her on my blog one day. Open conversations about money is extremely valuable. The person you might learn from is probably right in your backyard.

      • What? She did 3 degrees at prestigious, expensive universities for FREE? That’s what I’m talking about! Clearly, your friend is a genius in more ways than one. I would love to read a feature post about her and I would definitely want to hear her money managing strategies. You’re so right that we can learn from people close to us. I remember reading in The Slight Edge that the author’s mother (who was a single mother with several kids), casually told him she was a millionaire. She had been saving and investing for years and he didn’t even know. Makes you really wonder what’s going on in people’s bank accounts. I bet bank tellers have stories for days.

        • Right! Another friend of mine used to work as a bank teller and said that the people with the most money are always coming in to the bank to ask to have fees waived, or to have some kind of special offers. They literally watch their accounts like a hawk. Others don’t. People with large bank accounts are annoying but they find ways to keep their money.

  5. Always love the layout of your posts and the related posts you put after each section. All the best with your goals this month! xoxoxo

    I made a similar post, if you wanna check it out: https://astoldbyali.com/2018/05/02/currently-i-am-may-goals/

    • Hey Ali! Sometimes I make little tweaks to my blog and wonder whether they’re effective or not, so your feedback is much appreciated! I’d love to read about your goals – I’ll check out your post!

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