Kaje Marie is a former social worker turned blogger who writes about her quest for freedom and finding her God-given purpose at UnKajed Thoughts.
Back in the summer, I had a casual conversation with Kaje in the comments section of my post, Active Dreaming and the Art of Getting Ish Done. In her comment, she described a view of success that I’d been quietly cultivating but had never heard anyone else say publicly:
“Success…once upon a time I viewed success as the big house out in the suburbs, climbing to the top in my career, and a six figure income. Today, success to me is living a life of freedom, joy, and impact, and constantly being in pursuit of being a better me. So it’s a transition away from the material, the tangible and performance based kind of success.”
Wanting to delve deeper, I interviewed Kaje about what it’s like to chase an unconventional type of success in a culture that values the material.
There is something that drives and motivates each of us in life. We may know what lies underneath our pull toward a purpose–one that’s designed specifically for us. Or we may just make the conscious decision to chase after the pull on our lives; knowing that it will lead us to the very things we want and need the most. Fulfillment.
I was curious about this idea when I first read about it on millenial wisdom blog Let’s Build Futures. LBF put a name to this feeling I’d been having of being drawn towards something else in life, even though my life was going fine. How could it be possible to feel like something’s off even when there’s nothing wrong? LBF called that feeling the Pull and describes it as our calling. Interested in talking more about this idea, LBF and I agreed to chat about our Pull and the things we’re doing to chase it.
Anxiety is something I’ve been dealing with since I was a teenager. It’s that overwhelming sense that things have gone wrong, are going wrong, and will go wrong and that I will suffer the terrible consequences. As a teenager, I was convinced that I was always making some grave social misstep when I interacted with people, and as a result, I felt that I was constantly being judged. I didn’t think anybody liked me and I isolated myself. I watched people’s interest in me dwindle, hemorrhaging friends every year. Devastating words like “failure” and “loser” and “alone” reverberated around my mind, chipping away at something inside me every time they collided with my insides. No one really called me these things to my face, but in my experience of anxiety, I was my own bully.
Fortunately, once high school was over and I went off to university, things slowly got better. I didn’t leave high school without scars and tattered self-esteem, but experiencing the freedom to take care of myself for the first time helped me begin to heal. If I was feeling overwhelmed, I could have alone time to get myself together. I could try to face social situations that intimidated me slowly, in a way that didn’t provoke a breakdown.
So when I left undergrad a few years ago, my anxiety came with me, but it was controlled. Instead of a wild, ravaging wolf, I had an unruly retriever on my hands. I could put it on a leash.
I thought that was the end of that, until last week, when I found myself awake at 5 am, on the verge of tears, and quickly spiralling. What?
The inspiration for this post came from a conversation I had with Ali of As Told By Ali, when I got all excited about her post about wanting to start grad school. You can read her post here.
I speak often about being a grad student because it’s an experience that’s influencing my whole life. My future, because I’m grateful to be in grad school after being underemployed. My finances, because I’m hella broke. My time, because it takes up so much of it. And my identity, because being in grad school is like a job and there are all these social/cultural aspects to it that are shaping who I am. I won’t come out the same as I went in, which sounds tragic, but is actually A-OK with me.
Even though I talk about being a grad student fairly often, I realize I haven’t talked about how I actually got to grad school. I’m hoping that it’ll help someone else, and if it doesn’t…well, at least there’s a post this week.
This is a two-part post. Kelli from Unkajed Thoughts had some questions about what my experience in grad school has been like, so I thought that deserved a post of its own. You can read part two here.Read More
Little Pink Book is a blog series about dating smarter, not harder as an ambitious, Christian, millenial woman. Read the rest of the series here. If you’d like to submit a post to this series, send a pitch here.
My first foray into online dating was brief, confusing, and disappointing, but I fired up another dating app (not Tinder, probably never Tinder) for round two. This app is different from the last one in that it doesn’t have a daily limit for the number of potential matches you see and allows guys to message girls first.
Round two lasted about three weeks before I needed to back off and focus on other things (hello, deadlines!). I didn’t realize how much time and energy dating takes up. Nevertheless, I learned a lot about who and how I like to date. Here are five of the biggest.